Mike Tyson a Whore

Did anyone else hear about this. What could possible go wrong? A convicted rapist working as a male prostitute. Mike Tyson Male Gigalo. I wonder if he'll give love bites?

Guidlines for plutonic relationships.

I read this and laughed, and on many occasions said to myself, yep, why do they do that. I have had many female friends over my years and I can relate to lots of these. Even one girl that friends turned into more than that, and it ended up ruining the friendship.


1. No hugging for greetings or salutations. Hugging is only allowed for personal tragedies or blessed events when the emotional significance of the situation blocks out the knowledge that your boobies are pressing against me. We have hands; lets shake them.
2. No sleepovers. I think of all women who sleep in bed with me as potential sex partners. I spend all my free time trying to coax women in, so if you get in there, I can’t help but think you want some. If you or I need a place to crash sometime, then we should employ a couch. The breaking of this rule is punishable by instant sex.
3. No seat sharing. When girls sit on the arm of my chair or in my lap or next to me in a one-person seat, it makes me think that she wants some sexing. A possible exception is fitting an extra person in a car that is filled to capacity. I can’t let my passion hurt the quest to maximize a designated driver, but be warned; it might not be the seat belt poking you.
4. No flirting. So if you laugh at a joke of mine, it better be a funny joke.
5. No judgment making on any girl that I see. Good or bad, it’s the guy friends' job to belittle and pick apart girlfriends, if a woman does this, it means she wants the guy for herself. So you think she is trashy and dumb? Well, you could have dated me but you just wanted to be friends.
6. No judgment making on how I treat any girl I might date, be it for six months, or six hours. You have thrown your log onto the fire of chauvinism in my heart, so you are partially to blame if an innocent girl gets burned.
7. No sparing of my feelings. It’s emasculating. Don't worry, you already broke my heart, go ahead and heap more crap on me. I’ll turn all embarrassment and pain into bitterness and anger, and then occasionally let it all out in some meat headed act.
8. No setting me up on pity dates. If you truly know of a woman who would be very happy with me and I with her, then we will talk.
9. No being attracted to me. Impossible, I know, but you seem to have found a way, so stick with that. I’m going to be as attractive as possible in pursuit of other women, so if you are going to be seeing me in a bathing suit, you might want to make sure you are on the pill as the breaking of this rule is punishable by instant sex. In fact, don’t even tell me I look good as that will torment me for days.
10. No confiding in me about boys. I am not your girl friend; I am your reluctant man friend who officially hates all men that you date now or in the future. Asking for hypothetical guy advice is okay; just don’t slam me with details about particular guys you are sleeping with. If this rule seems contrary to rule 7, just remember that I’m a beautifully complex being.
11. No asking for man favors such as furniture moving, yard work, or car trouble help. I don't like to waste displays of extreme masculinity on women who have decided not to sleep with me. In a pinch you can bribe me to do man chores with beer. Please hand me the case as a gift versus doling them out one at a time from your fridge. That keeps it strictly business.
12. Try to avoid incidental contact. I can't outlaw this since there are times when the brush of a leg or a sleeve is purely accidental, but try to be careful. You can take steps to not put your arm in mine while walking or lay against me on a couch or other things like that. Those things would lead me to think you want me to sex you.
13. No asking for massages or neck rubs, that’s a lot of foreplay to waste on someone who doesn't want the main event. Besides, shouldn’t your boyfriend give you massages? Why aren’t we dating again?
14. No dating any guy who treats you bad or neglects you in any way, that’s just a slap in my face. I fucking adore you.
15. No judgments on any of my behavior. It would lead me to think you care a little too much about my well being. So I don't want to hear any, "Stop smoking", or "Don't drink so much," or "Don't use women." Of course if I am truly being an asshole in some situation, feel free to clue me in, that’s what friends do.
16. You have to let me know immediately if you want to be more than friends. I’m only doing this to respect your wishes. If you ever want more, rest assured that I do too. At any moment we can tear these guidelines up and spend 24 hours doing every imaginable sexy act.

Tragic News!!!!!

Today everyone will be blogging about the Dems taking control of the house and possibly the Senate. ( still undecided at posting time) Not me though. I am going to tackle another headline breaking subject. No, its not Iraq. Not Korea. Not even Iran. It's Brit and K-Fed. Yes you heard (well read) it here. Brit and K-Fed are getting a divorce.





There is something inside me that cries out a glorious, Hell Yes! Because I like Britney Spears you say? No. I don't like or dislike her, she is indifferent to me. Now K-Fed on the other hand. Something about that boy makes me just want to punch him in the head repeaditly. THE most annoying person to get famous by marrying a rich person since, well is is the most. No one is more lame than you K-Fed. Hope you end up on VH1's Surreal life. Loser.

The apocalypse is nigh!!!!

According to this article if the democrats gain control of congress, then the end of the world is near. That amazing fact is from this website. I have to shake my head and laugh. People, the world is not going to end, unless an asteroid hits, or I start dating Carmen Electra. If I start dating Carmen I believe the world would stop in it's tracks. But seriously now, it's great if you believe in a higher power. I'm glad you have that. But as a college educated person, I can not believe how anyone can have that much faith in the Bible after becoming a learned person. I reccomend the FSM for anyone looking for the real being in the universe. May his noodly appendage touch you all.

Map of active Hate Groups.

Link I cann't believe there are so many. Well, yes I can. This country was built from immigrants who brang ( yes, I know "brang" isn't a word, but screw you all I use it) thier customs, religions, and bigotry with them. Things get passed down through the generations, all the customs and the bigotry too. I would like to think that today's generation has more tolerance and do not see people by color or religion, but alas lots of people don't. I was surprised to see my section of Pennsylvania has no groups close to it. Still that dosn't mean people are not idiots here. Go into any bar and at least once a night you will probably hear some racial slurs of people talking ignorant. It ashames me a-lot when I hear that talk in my town. Hopefully things will continue to change for the better.

Great, snowing like hell outside now. Gotta drive over a big hill to work. Suck.